apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
