Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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