i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Randomize
