My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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