he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
