haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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