I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
