it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Randomize
