To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
