My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
accomplished twins. life is a go
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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