Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
