it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
