honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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