but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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