Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
