I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
