dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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