Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
