i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
