piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
The power of my boobs compel you
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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