It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Randomize