so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
