I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
