Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize