Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
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At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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