gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
