i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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