it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
