Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
