he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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