IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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