i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
