After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
