So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
