he wants to bone in the snuggie
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
