No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
