he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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