I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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