i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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