I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
