If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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