Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
