After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
