his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
