Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
please don't ironically join a cult
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