if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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