idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
