if i can run in heels then i can drive
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
