apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize