And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
