playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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