zippers are such a cool invention
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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