I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Randomize
