is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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