I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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