my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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