it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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