Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize