"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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