Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Randomize
