i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
