I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
