I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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