last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
