i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
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