yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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