Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
