margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
