dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
