Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize