I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
