Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
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