When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
