I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
