**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
