Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
