Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
